What I love (She said)

I have to say I’m a little nervous! This is the first “She Said, He Said” set of posts we’re doing and it’s a little pressure-full! So let’s just get to it!

We’re writing about the top five things that mean the most to us about each other and our relationship in hopes that it gives insight into the things that truly matter within a partnership. It’s kind of an experiment to see how it flows into relationship topics. 

(1)  I love Casey’s sense of right and wrong and I love that he’s open to discussing what he sees and also learning other perspectives. He has a way of cutting through the emotions of a situation to see a truth that can be super refreshing for someone with bigger emotions (an empath) like me. There have been times in our relationship where he was able to simplify something that felt very complex to me. I love that about him!

(2)  Another thing I love is that Casey is continuously looking to understand his life from a bigger perspective, and his journey takes him down a slightly different path than mine. We both enjoy many of the same subjects but choose different expressions. An example is the fact that we are both avid readers of spiritual and personal development books. However we are rarely found reading the same books. Yet when we sit down to discuss what’s going on within each other’s inner world, inevitably we learn that we are both working on the same topic or theme. This gives us different entry points to the same topic, theme or learning and allows us to both gain new perspectives. Plus it means deep conversations that are super rewarding!

(3)  I love Casey’s willingness to have difficult conversations (calmly) even when he is uncomfortable. We have great (and safe) communication. I certainly think that the personal work I’ve done over the course of the last many years makes a difference, but probably (definitely) it also has a lot (mostly) to do with him as a person and as a partner. While we have much different styles of communication (which we do plan to talk about in a later post), there are some factors that are important. 

1. Casey always assumes the best of me, and I assume the best of him. This is a game changer and is a key indicator that we both feel safe with one another and secure in our love for one another. I know that Casey is my partner in life, and I know that he wants what is best. I also trust that we are aligned in a similar (not the same) direction of what we think of as “best”. This means that difficult conversations can be held with greater levels of ease (which does not imply that they are easy, but that I don’t have to worry that we’ll both end up defensive every time we talk about a challenging subject). 
2. He is open to my perspective. We are both open to other viewpoints without feeling that we must adopt or be threatened by an alternative viewpoint. This allows us to listen to each other and learn from one another. 
3. We have both proven to be open to feedback in order to change behaviors or patterns that created disharmony in our relationship. This is huge!  No one wants to have the same conversations over and over again without seeing a shift. Casey and I listen to each other with an open heart and we both make shifts and changes in our behavior and speech patterns that are for the best of our relationship. 

(4) I love that we’re so silly together. It gets eye rolls from Caitlyn, but that just eggs us on. We are both dorky. If I’m honest here, he’s kind of cool-dorky and I’m kind of dorky-dorky. And we laugh a lot, even when things are difficult or uncomfortable. We can be known to break out into song (usually jams from the 80s and 90s)…   so much that Chloe will break out the “Ice Ice Baby..” randomly. We both can be punny (have you seen the name of our blog?). And sometimes we even dorky dance. That’s all I’m going to say about that one!

And finally….  

(5) The last thing I simply love about our relationship is that I get to be in it. Every single day, I am grateful for being on this journey with Casey. I’m grateful that he’s beside me when things get challenging. I’m grateful that I get to see all of the dorky and silly stuff that he does at home (he makes me laugh a lot). And I’m grateful that I get to witness his tenderness with Chloe and the special relationship he has with Caitlyn. I’m grateful that he’s my partner and that we know how to do partnership (partnership is my real 5th thing). We know how to fill the gaps when one person needs the other to do that. We know how to negotiate responsibilities so that we can each have our own needs met and simultaneously meet the needs of our family. We make a really great team, and Casey, just as the amazing human that he is, helps me be a good “team” member and partner. 

What do you love most about your relationship or partner? What topics mean the most to you to explore further?  As we get going, we’d love to know – so comment (below) or send us a message (contact us form).