Our Fix for Finicky 5 Year Old Eating

One thing you should know about Casey and I is that we love to eat. We both love many different kinds of food and get a lot of joy out of eating. So when our 5 year old gets super finicky with food and starts throwing fits at dinner time, it’s a huge buzzkill. 

This was a regular pattern several months ago and despite our best attempts, we couldn’t figure out how to get our very independent daughter to go with the flow during dinner.

We tried being firm which didn’t work. We tried being empathetic which didn’t work. We tried good cop – bad cop, which also…   didn’t work. We tried timers. We tried no timers but also not extending bedtime – so other privileges were lost. Nothing we were trying worked. 

We were faced with the challenge of contemplating fixing different meals at dinnertime which, realistically we were partially doing anyway. However I was against this as a standard in our home. I didn’t want our home to get that much more difficult; making dinner that much more time consuming. And yet peace at the dinner table was also a priority.

As I often do, I asked myself some hard questions about what I was and was not willing to do, and then I went about my business. I would softly contemplate this issue occasionally, never pressing for an answer, but invoking my curiosity. 

One day, I had the answer. I decided that, it was possible our independent daughter needed some choice in her dinners. And I decided that there were ways we could introduce choice and also not make it a ton of work. 

We started by having salads (which she loves) with dinner every night. We put the chopped romaine and other greens in a big bowl and other toppings that we already had in smaller bowls. Some things Casey and I serve on the plates (for ease or because they are hot), and each person serves their own salads. 

We also decided that we could make a big thing of white rice once or twice a week so that she had that as a choice as well (sometimes new grains are the issue). We require her to try whatever we’re serving, but we don’t push her to eat it all, especially if it’s something new. And we ensure that there’s at least something in the meal we know she already likes (aside from the salad).

The first night of adding self-serve salads, dinnertime was amazing. She was so thrilled to serve herself…   she was happy at dinner time…   and she couldn’t wait to eat!  This change has made our dinnertime so much more peaceful. And it’s relatively simple.

After doing this for several months, there is a palpable difference in our home surrounding our evening meals. We still have our moments when things are less than optimal, but by and large these shifts have helped us create a new dynamic with dinnertimes.

Have you tried any of these changes in your home? What happened? What strategies do you find work with your kids when mealtimes get rough?  Share in the comments!